What are the causes of female sexual apathy?

In life, women are more likely to suffer from sexual indifference than men. There are many reasons for women's sexual indifference, such as busy life. Some people only care about various trivial matters in family life and have no free time to enjoy the pleasure brought by sex. In addition, it may be related to age factors. For example, women entering menopause will experience varying degrees of sexual indifference. The following are other reasons that lead to women's sexual indifference.

Physiological reasons for women's sexual indifference:

There is no doubt that low sexual desire is related to physiology, but in many cases physiology is not the main reason - the fact that Viagra cannot cure women's low sexual desire is one of the arguments. Most of the time, low libido is psychological and relationship related.

1. Sex is the window to all other aspects of a relationship.

When there is some repressed anger in a relationship, a decrease in sexual activity and desire can begin to occur. Then, as sexual behavior and sexual desire decrease, suspicions of malice toward the other person and oneself may arise, such as whether the couple no longer loves each other, has someone else outside, is no longer attractive, etc. The end result is that communication becomes impossible, and may even lead to real infidelity. It's a vicious cycle.

For some couples, sexual apathy is a form of passive protest, a silent attack and confrontation.

Mimi's advice on this is of course to deal with and face the real problems in intimate relationships on the one hand, and on the other hand it comes from an Italian proverb - the appetite is felt when eating. So if you want to find an appetite, you should start eating first. When sexual desire is low, the best solution is not to abstain from sex, but to have sex well. Perhaps the lost desire can be regained through mutual stimulation of both parties.

2Negative thoughts during sex can greatly damage sexual function

French sexologist Marie Geonet reviewed forty years of research on female sexual apathy and found that negative thoughts/ideas during sex can greatly impair sexual function. Having negative thoughts during sex will distract women and make them no longer focus on the stimulation of desire. It will also cause anxiety and guilt, which will further reduce sexual arousal and pleasure in the future. Some studies have also shown that the negative effects of this negative thinking also exist in men.

Common negative thoughts among women include “whether I look beautiful now, how I smell, whether he is satisfied with my figure, etc.”, while men more often think “whether I am doing well now, whether I have the ability to satisfy her.” Both sexes are concerned about adverse consequences such as “possibility of pregnancy, possibility of sexually transmitted diseases, possibility of pain.”

In the 1980s, American scholar David Barlow proposed the anxiety model of sex: during sex, anxiety plays a role, shifting attention from lust to worries about one's own performance. This shift in attention can reduce arousal and subtly affect performance, ultimately leading to reduced sexual pleasure. As a result, anxiety levels may increase in future sexual situations because the focus will be increasingly on how one performs. If the other party gives negative feedback about your performance at this time - haha, reducing sexual desire is more effective than pouring a bucket of cold water on you. (For more information about anxiety, please pay attention to the content of the future issue x)

Mimi's tip for this is to practice some mindfulness techniques (which will be introduced in detail in the future) so that the two people during sex can focus more on the erotic experience at the moment. The more focused they are on the erotic experience, the higher the performance and pleasure both parties will naturally get.

3. Fear of sexual desire is to avoid losing control, and avoiding losing control is because of the lack of trust.

The last, and relatively the most profound, comes from the perspective of psychoanalysis. Uncle Freud once said, "Sexual aversion, like other forms of rejection, may be a false emotion, a defensive tactic of consciousness against desire." - Don't you understand? It's true that psychoanalysts always don't like to speak human language.