No one tells you this information before giving birth. Let me tell you

Recently, a hot search on Weibo #No one told me this information before I gave birth# sparked widespread discussion among netizens.

Our team happens to have a mother who just finished her maternity leave. She also feels very deeply about this and wants to talk about the things that no one told her before she gave birth.

The following descriptions are all in the first person voice.

1. Is it better to have a caesarean section or a natural birth? As soon as expectant mothers reach the late stage of pregnancy, they will face this question: Caesarean section or natural birth?

Of course, I am no exception. All my relatives and friends around me told me: Natural birth is better, just have a natural birth.

After being squeezed through the birth canal, the child will be smarter and have better resistance.

Natural childbirth is also good for the mother's own health. The recovery after delivery is quick and she can get out of bed and walk around the next day or even the same day after delivery.

It costs less money, and even if you want to have another baby, you can do it quickly without having to wait basically two years like for a caesarean section.

The animated image comes from giphy

Even if you are the one giving birth, the right to choose does not seem to be in your hands.

Countless people who have been through this have forcefully invaded your decision-making process by saying “it’s for the good of your children, it’s for your own good,” and this may include your mother.

Most people would compromise because of this, and I am no exception.

Before the birth, the doctor talked to my husband and me: According to the results of B-ultrasound and MRI, the baby's abdominal circumference was relatively large, reaching 39.7cm, and the estimated weight was around 8 kilograms.

This is a bit difficult for me, a petite expectant mother who is only 1.55m tall.

If you insist on a natural birth, there is a high risk of shoulder dystocia - if the baby's head comes out and the shoulder is stuck, you can only break the baby's shoulder blade to assist in delivery, which may also cause the risk of hand disability in the baby.

After my family members found out the news, except for my husband, everyone else disagreed with me having a direct caesarean section and encouraged me to try for a natural birth.

After all, I was in good health during pregnancy, and my cervix and pelvis were in good condition. How could I have a cesarean section without giving it a try?

Everyone advised me:

We (mother/mother-in-law) all came here this way;

Giving birth to a child is not that difficult;

The doctor just tells you about the risks, but we believe you won’t encounter them, the probability is very small;

Caesarean section is not good for the baby, and it is not good for your recovery...

The animated picture comes from soogif

No one cared about my feelings. No one thought about how scared I must be since it was my first time giving birth and I was faced with danger.

In addition to being afraid, I also felt deeply guilty towards my child and did not dare to face the risk of harming his health.

Obviously, I was the one who was most worried about the baby in my belly, but my family used their experience to interfere with my decision in every way, forcing me to try natural birth.

Finally, the vaginal delivery was changed to cesarean section, and both the baby and I are healthy and safe

Photos of babies just born

The result was satisfactory, but because of this compromise, I suffered both physical and psychological torture during childbirth.

I am here to tell you that whether to have a caesarean section or a natural birth, you should not be swayed by the advice of so-called experienced people, nor do you need the mother to be stubborn. These two methods of delivery are not black-and-white choices. What is needed is to choose the appropriate method according to the appropriate situation.

Whether to give birth naturally or by caesarean section depends on the mother's physical condition and fetal factors.

If conditions are right, you can choose to give birth naturally.

However, if the following situations occur, you must follow the doctor's judgment on whether to perform a cesarean section.

① Fetal factors: such as malposition of the fetus (buttocks facing down, feet facing down, shoulders facing down, or lying horizontally in the uterus), fetal distress, fetal oversize, abnormal fetal heart rate, etc.

②Maternal physical condition factors: pelvic and cervical conditions, labor force factors, and maternal mental state, etc.

These all require professional evaluation by a doctor. If it is determined that natural delivery may be difficult, a cesarean section should be performed in a timely manner.

Otherwise, the mother may have to bear the risk of switching from vaginal delivery to cesarean section, and experience two kinds of "pain". It may also endanger the life safety of the fetus and the mother.

2. Painless childbirth will not affect the child, so just do it. I'm afraid many women have heard that the anesthesia used in painless childbirth will affect the child's intelligence, and that painless childbirth will cause back pain, and so on.

Many people even believe that as a woman, one should endure the pain of childbirth, which is the price one has to pay for becoming a mother.

But today, I want to tell all the women who want to have children that these pains are not what a mother should endure, and you can suffer less, there is no need to suffer more.

Whether a woman is a qualified mother and whether she loves her child is not determined by whether she can endure pain during childbirth and the degree of pain she can endure.

As Li Yinhe, an expert from the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, said:

"Whether a mother experiences pain during childbirth reflects the level of civilization of a society. Relieving pain for mothers is a respect for individual life and also reflects a kind of childbirth civilization."

The pain of childbirth is so painful!

In fact, before the contractions came, I had a strong resistance to internal examination, not only because of the pain, but also because of shyness.

Internal examination is when the doctor inserts his hand into the birth canal to check the degree of dilation of the cervix. This process is very much like having a carrot stuffed into your nostrils and poking it left and right. It is painful and unbearable, but there is no escape.

It wasn't until regular contractions came that I realized the pain of internal examination was nothing.

The pain from contractions is so severe that I don’t have the strength to speak!

Only by pinching my husband's hand hard can I divert his attention and relieve my pain a little!

But when the next contraction came, I seemed to be trapped in a vortex of pain again.

My waist is not my waist, my abdomen is not my abdomen, lying flat is not my waist, lying on my side is not my abdomen. No posture can relieve the pain, which is 100 times more painful than menstrual cramps.

I cried out silently in my heart, and even began to envy those women in labor who could shout and scream. How could they still have the strength to shout?

It hurt so much that I even started asking the doctor to do an internal examination, because as long as the anus was dilated to three fingers, an epidural could be arranged.

The time I spent waiting for the anesthesiologist to arrive was so long and dark that I felt like a century had passed, but in fact only 15 minutes had passed.

The anesthesiologist finally came. When she slowly pushed the anesthetic into the spinal canal and the effect of the drug gradually became apparent, I felt like I had gone from hell to heaven.

Now that the heart-wrenching pain before the epidural is over, I can even play with my phone, chat with people around me, and take a nap to conserve my energy.

Painless childbirth will not affect the mother and the child, which is a benefit of technological development

Painless vaccination will not only not affect childbirth, but also has no effect on the baby's intelligence, and will not cause postpartum back pain.

"Painless childbirth" is to inject anesthetics into the spinal canal (epidural anesthesia). The drugs enter the nerves through the epidural space, blocking pain signals from reaching the brain, thereby playing an analgesic role.

This is the same operation as anesthesia for cesarean section, but the drugs and dosages used are different.

The dosage of anesthetic for painless delivery is 1/5-1/10 of that for cesarean section. The dosage is small and has little effect on the baby.

The wound pain caused by painless labor puncture will generally recover quickly.

A foreign study showed that the risk of low back pain was not increased compared with women who chose epidural analgesia during labor and those who did not.

Moreover, painless childbirth eliminates or reduces pain, allowing the mother to rest during the first stage of labor (the process of dilation of the cervix) and accumulate physical strength, which is more conducive to giving birth to the baby in the second stage of labor.

Painless childbirth can not only relieve the pain of parturients during childbirth, but also reduce their fear and fatigue to a certain extent, making childbirth no longer synonymous with "suffering".

The greatness of maternal love does not need to be proved by enduring the pain of childbirth, nor does it require one to trap oneself in the shackles imposed on mothers by outsiders.

Today's medicine is constantly developing and life is getting better and better. Our generation no longer has to endure the pain of childbirth that previous generations had to endure. What's wrong with that?

Before you give birth, no one tells you how much physical and psychological pain you will experience during pregnancy and childbirth.

No one tells you before you give birth that your body may never be the same again after giving birth;

No one tells you before you have a child. Even if you know everything in all the parenting books, you may still be at a loss when it comes to actually doing it...

The two things I mentioned above are just two of the many things no one tells you before you have a baby.

Through these two things, I want to tell all women: As the main person responsible for childbearing, there is no need and no need to be trapped in an evaluation system imposed by others.

No one can bear the pain of pregnancy, childbirth, and childcare for you, and no one can make decisions for you.

Whether you have a baby or not, and how you choose to have it, I hope you can choose the way that makes you most comfortable. There is no need to put too much psychological burden on yourself.

Mom is not a superman or a god, she is just an ordinary person. You will get tired, collapse, and not be able to handle many things.

Don't be too harsh or force yourself, and don't be held hostage by the idea that "a mother should be selfless."

You are you first, and then you are xxx’s mother!