What should I do if I become sexually cold after having a child?

It is said that women’s interest in sex decreases after giving birth. In fact, almost every woman will encounter this situation. It may be because the physical condition is relatively poor after giving birth and cannot have sexual intercourse, so over time, one gets used to a life without sex. It may also be because women’s views on sex have changed and they have focused their attention on other aspects. So, what should I do if I have a cold relationship with my child?

Choose the right time for the "first time" after childbirth: After giving birth, the father may be anxious to resume sexual life as soon as possible. No wonder, during the ten months of pregnancy, one can imagine how hard it is for a man in his prime. Now that the little one is out, of course he wants to enjoy it as soon as possible, but the doctor warns: the best time to resume sexual life is 6 to 8 weeks after childbirth. Because it takes about a month for the uterus to return to normal, before that, if you have sex too hard, it will cause discomfort.

Women who have undergone episiotomy or cesarean section will also need about 6 weeks to heal the wound so that they will not feel pain when exerting force. Some women still feel a hard and swollen perineum 6 weeks after delivery. They can rinse and massage the perineum with warm water while bathing. This can promote wound healing and softening of scars, and there is no need to worry about causing pain during sexual intercourse. Therefore, do not let your fear of sex result from impatience.

Enjoy your husband's massage: After the baby falls asleep, dim the lights, adjust the room temperature to a suitable level, lie down comfortably, and ask your husband to give you a gentle and soft massage. You can massage just your drowsy head, or just your tired feet, or you can enjoy a full body massage. When the time is almost up, add some "work" to the sensitive parts. Perhaps, your enthusiasm will quietly return.

Find someone to share the hard work of raising the baby: mother-in-law, mother, husband, or hire a caring auntie to help you share the burden of raising the baby. Don’t give up all your time just because you love your baby and refuse help from others. It is really good and great to be able to raise a baby completely by yourself, but let others share some of the burden. Give yourself enough time to rest, and at the same time leave yourself a space to enjoy the fun you deserve.

Proper use of auxiliary items: Maybe because of the busy life, there is no longer as much time to create the atmosphere as when you are alone. Women are different from men. They always need more preparation before they can get into the role. If they just do it, I believe few women can enjoy the fun. Therefore, if you find that you have not thought about this matter for a long time, but your husband needs it, you might as well use some auxiliary items, such as watching a warm and touching emotional film, or simply reading an explicit sexual literature. Stimulate your desire.