The harm and manifestation of Oedipus complex

The Oedipus complex is a kind of dependent feeling that occurs in many girls. In the eyes of such girls, their father is the most perfect person in the world and no one can compare to him. In fact, the Oedipus complex mainly occurs because people have experienced the trauma of Guan Yu’s fatherly love or are extremely insecure. So what kind of harm does the Oedipus complex have on oneself? Let's take a look at the inner world of people with the Oedipus complex.

Girls who lose their father's love prematurely often transfer their feelings for their father to a real person. This person becomes a substitute for their father, but he is different from their father. Under the halo effect of the father, the image of "him" often becomes more lofty and becomes an irreplaceable "love saint", enshrined deep in the girl's memory. Because "he" is closely related to a specific period, and that period is unforgettable for girls, so invisibly, the later comers will always make girls feel a lack of resonance.

2. Insecurity

Losing either parent during childhood can seriously undermine a child's sense of inner security. The most direct reaction caused by insecurity is an increase in defensive psychology, which often leads to rejection or avoidance of all uncertain factors.

In terms of personality, it manifests as extreme narcissism. For example, we can see these two extremes in Eileen Chang. One is silence. According to the memories of the old writers and classmates in Shanghai who saw Eileen Chang at that time, Eileen Chang was an extremely quiet person. This kind of quietness can be described in literary language as the quietness of burying gold and sand. Such an extremely quiet girl, when her love for her father was betrayed by her father, she wished she could die and wanted to kill her mother. This kind of personality is a manifestation of extreme narcissism.

For example, when Eileen Chang was studying at St. Mary's Girls' School, her teacher recalled that she was a listless and lazy person. At that time, St. Mary's Girls' School was an aristocratic girls' school with extremely strict rules. For example, if you didn't wear your shoes, you had to put them in the shoe cabinet. If you didn't put them in the shoe cabinet, the matron would take out your shoes and put them in the corridor for public display. This was actually a humiliating punishment for girls. But Eileen Chang was extremely indifferent. Her shoes were taken to the corridor by the matron almost every day for public display. The teacher couldn't stand it anymore, so he asked: Zhang Ailing, why are you always like this? I forgot. In addition, Zhang Ailing had few friends, always had a sad face, and seemed indifferent to the people and things around her. Why is she like this? In fact, it is a kind of self-alienation caused by her narcissistic personality.