Why women are full of wildness before orgasm

A husband reported that his wife liked to scratch and bite herself every time she was about to climax during sex. He didn't understand because his wife was a teacher. She was usually quiet and gentle and very considerate to him. Logically, she shouldn't have been so cruel to him at that time. He had also read some books on sexual psychology and found that his wife was very much like the sadist described in the books. What was even more incomprehensible to him was that he did not seem to be disgusted by the abuse of his wife and was even excited about it. Later, by chance, he heard someone say that sadism would become more and more serious and should be treated early, so he wrote a letter for consultation.

Is true love deformed?

To answer the question raised by the friend above, let us first take a look at how China and the West view the expression of sac. There is a saying in the West that "true love is deformed." Although we don't have such a motto in China, we do have a folk proverb that goes "Slapping is love, scolding is love, not spanking or scolding is harm." Although the two come from different cultural backgrounds, they both reflect the same phenomenon: love can be expressed in non-loving ways.

It is not abnormal but normal for couples to have some rough behavior during their sex life. According to a survey conducted abroad, 5%-10% of couples in the United States have engaged in grabbing, hitting, pinching, and scratching during sex, and they get great pleasure from it. If these behaviors are somewhat similar to sexual abuse, it can only be said to be "close to the truth". Both parties are very rational and know their limits. They do not pursue unbearable situations like sexual perverts, so they will not cause real harm to each other like sexual perverts.

Therefore, the friend mentioned above does not need to worry. But their confusion raises a question: Why can't loving couples have sex in a gentle way, but have to use almost violent means to have sex?

Why use violence instead of gentleness?

Indeed, this is the essence of the problem. In daily life, couples with deep affection will not treat each other harshly, and they are even afraid of hurting each other's feelings by saying a rude word. But when it comes to having sex, things often become different. In order to pursue intense pleasure, sexual behavior must have a certain degree of intensity. For example, many men, like the husband of the young woman mentioned above, like to change various positions and insert the penis deeper into the vagina. It is not necessarily because this action can bring greater pleasure, but because powerful and intense movements can intensify the escalation of pleasure.

In sexual health consultations, we found that biting is a common action during rough sex. Some people say that whether a man bites a woman or a woman bites a man, they both want to leave a mark on the other person. Many people find this explanation inappropriate. Some scholars believe that this is because kissing is the most common act of love and is also the preparation stage for sexual life. Use frequently. As the sexual pleasure escalates, this gentle action obviously becomes less powerful. When people's love reaches an intensified level and they don't know how to express their feelings, they will naturally escalate from kissing to biting.

A survey shows that more women than men use grabbing, biting, pinching and other actions during sex. Because men are the initiators of sexual life, the specific operations are completed by them. If he feels it is necessary to increase the stimulation, he can put his strength into sexual intercourse. Women do not have this convenience. Although they can take the initiative to participate in sexual life, when it comes to specific behaviors, they can only accept and wait. When they feel the need to express strong emotions, they will find other ways to do so, and scratching, biting, etc. are inevitable.