The story of the intestines making trouble in the sea: the 3000-day life and death book of Nezha fighting against the polyp monster

Fellow Taoists! Today I will show you a thrilling "intestinal catastrophe" - the originally law-abiding intestinal wall cells were possessed by the "magic pill" and turned into polyp essences, which were secretly cultivating to overcome the catastrophe and become cancer monsters! (The theme song of "Nezha" sounded in my mind here)

Chapter 1: The Devil Boy's Hidden Story

Your intestines are busier than Chentangguan, with heavy traffic every day transporting "gold". Suddenly one day, a few lumps of flesh appeared on the intestinal wall, which were the polyp spirits marked by the "magic pill"! These first-generation demon children were only the size of sesame seeds, wrapped in slippery mucus robes, disguised as harmless "lotus tyrants".

(Image produced by Nano AI)

Don't be fooled by their aggressive appearance, they are secretly practicing "cell division". When you stay up late to eat barbecue, they are doing "infrastructure projects" on the intestinal wall; when you have constipation and diarrhea, it is these naughty kids playing "intestinal roller coaster"!

Chapter 2: Demon Pill's Reincarnation and Darkening

This generation of polyp spirits are all experts in overcoming tribulations! From a good citizen to a cancer demon, they have to go through three disasters and nine difficulties: first break through the basement membrane to learn the "earth escape technique", then practice angiogenesis to play "blood control flight", and finally light up the transfer skill to ascend directly! The whole process is just like Nezha bearing the heavenly tribulation curse, which requires a full 3,000 days of practice.

(Image produced by Nano AI)

But we have a magic weapon to break the deadlock - the enteroscope! This magic weapon combines Taiyi Zhenren's map of mountains and rivers and the fire spear of Nezha, which can reveal all the magic pills disguised as "Ou Ba" and directly interrupt their spells before they can cross the calamity!

Round 3: The Fight of the Heaven and Earth Circle

What to do if you find polyps? Let's see the magic weapon of modern medicine:

➊ Hun Tian Ling Binding Technique (Colonoscopic Biopsy Forceps)

➋ Hot Wheels Grilling Technique (High Frequency Electric Knife)

➌ Kowloon Fire Hood (EMR/ESD Resection)

(Image produced by Nano AI)

The painless colonoscopy is equipped with "Taiyi Zhenren Anesthesia Technique", which allows you to enter the dreamland of mountains, rivers, and states in seconds. When you wake up, the magic pill in your intestines has been cut back to its father and its mother!

Chapter 4: Lotus Root Becomes a Defense Technique

Want to develop an indestructible body like Nezha? Remember the three great calamity-surviving mantras:

① Dietary fiber lotus root (oatmeal/mushroom/apple)

② Sports metabolism hot wheel (30 minutes of exercise every day)

③ Regular colonoscopy (every 5 years starting at age 35)

(Image produced by Nano AI)

Special reminder: Blood in the stool is a declaration of war from the magic pill, and a family history of colon cancer is equivalent to a natural curse! For Taoist friends who have these two buffs, it is recommended to open the colonoscopy copy in advance!

Final Chapter: My fate is in my own hands

Dear reincarnated spirits, the 3000-day life and death book is in your hands! Should you let the magic pill pass the tribulation and become cancer, or use colonoscopy to rewrite your fate? Take out your mobile phone now to make an appointment for a checkup, which is the best "mountain and river map"! Forward this article to the Taoist group to help your relatives and friends slay demons and eliminate monsters. We must stay up late to play games, and we must live to 99 with our intestines!

Author: Xu Yeqing Department of Colorectal and Anal Surgery, Digestive Disease Center, Zhuzhou Hospital Affiliated to Xiangya School of Medicine, Central South University