0 cost! This seemingly "shameful" little habit is really stress-relieving!

In daily life, perhaps many people have had this experience: Sometimes, you will unconsciously start talking to yourself, or talking to yourself at an object. This kind of "chattering" is sometimes silent, sometimes audible, sometimes it is like answering your own questions, or encouraging yourself, or recalling and reflecting on past events, or even looking forward to and planning for the future...

Many people feel ashamed of this behavior, and even doubt that they are abnormal. So, is self-talk really abnormal? Why does this phenomenon occur?

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Why does self-talk occur?

In fact, this phenomenon of self-talk is a very common and natural psychological activity. This kind of "chattering" is not only a reflection of our inner world, but also an effective emotion regulation technique. In the field of psychology, many studies have shown that talking to oneself is a simple and effective way to relieve stress.

1. The manifestation of self-awareness

Have you ever noticed that sometimes our brain is like a small theater, where we will perform wonderful "inner dramas" one after another. This is not as simple as talking to ourselves, but actually we are quietly exploring the "secret garden" in our hearts.

Self-dialogue is an exploration and expression of one's inner world. Through this method, people can better understand and analyze their emotions, needs and values. It reflects our level of self-cognition, that is, the awareness and understanding of our inner world. This internal dialogue helps individuals to monitor themselves, solve problems and regulate emotions.

Empirical research shows that self-talk can activate the prefrontal cortex of the brain, an area closely associated with higher cognitive functions. By talking to yourself, individuals are better able to organize and express their thoughts, thereby improving the clarity and efficiency of their thinking.

2. The need for emotional regulation

When it comes to emotional regulation, "self-talk" is like a "bartender" in our lives. When we are besieged by "little monsters" such as stress, anxiety or confusion, we will inevitably feel a mess in our hearts. At this time, our brain will start the "self-talk mode", just like opening an "emotional bartender" in our hearts. It helps you pour the "ingredients" of those troubles into the "cup", while picking up the "thinking stirring stick" to let you look at the problem from a different perspective. In this way, the originally bitter emotional "cocktail" becomes a sweet "happy juice".

When faced with stress, anxiety or confusion, individuals often use self-talk to calm their emotions. This inner communication helps us look at problems from different perspectives and find more reasonable solutions. As cognitive behavioral therapy emphasizes, changing thinking patterns can directly affect our emotional state. Studies have found that positive self-talk can significantly reduce anxiety and depression levels. For example, when facing a stressful situation, saying some encouraging words to yourself can effectively relieve tension and improve coping ability.

In addition, self-talk can also help with problem solving and decision making. By expressing one's thoughts verbally, individuals can see all sides of a problem more clearly and find more reasonable solutions. In the decision-making process, self-talk can help individuals weigh the pros and cons and avoid acting impulsively.

3. Simulation of social interaction

When alone, some people will unconsciously start chatting with themselves. In fact, this is a simulation of interacting with others. Self-talk can also be seen as a simulation of social interaction. Talking to others in imagination can help us practice social skills and improve communication skills. At the same time, it is also a way of self-comfort, allowing us to still feel company and support when we are lonely.

With the popularity of social media, people's self-talk habits have also changed. Foreign researchers are paying attention to how social media shapes our self-talk style and the long-term impact of this new form of self-talk on mental health. For example, they are studying whether self-expression on WeChat Moments and short video social media is equivalent to traditional self-talk, and its role in alleviating loneliness and enhancing social connections.

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Healthy Self-Talk

Not only harmless, but also has many benefits

Many people have the habit of self-talk, but they may not realize that healthy self-talk can have many positive effects on our physical and mental health.

1. Enhance your confidence

Positive self-talk can stimulate individual potential and enhance self-confidence. When we say to ourselves "I can do it", this belief will be transformed into the motivation for actual action, helping us overcome difficulties and achieve our goals.

A study focusing on athletes explored the impact of positive self-talk on confidence and sports performance. The study recruited a group of amateur athletes and divided them into two groups. The experimental group was asked to use positive self-talk during training and competition, such as "I can do it!" "I am getting stronger!", while the control group maintained their original self-talk habits.

The results showed that the athletes in the experimental group had significantly higher self-confidence scores than those in the control group, and they also performed better in subsequent competitions. It can be seen that positive self-talk can indeed effectively improve an individual's confidence and performance level to a certain extent.

2. Relieve stress

Self-talk is also an effective way to vent emotions. By expressing our inner worries and stress, we can gain psychological relief and relaxation.

Research shows that regular self-talk practice can significantly reduce anxiety and depression levels. One experimental study showed that when participants talked to themselves while completing a task, their anxiety levels were significantly reduced. This effect was particularly evident with long-term practice, which also suggests that self-talk can be an effective stress management tool.

3. Improve decision-making ability and promote self-growth

When faced with an important decision, self-talk can help us clarify our thoughts and weigh the pros and cons. By communicating deeply with ourselves, we can understand all aspects of the problem more comprehensively and make more informed decisions.

Healthy self-talk is a process of self-reflection. By constantly examining and evaluating our own behaviors and thoughts, we can identify problems and make improvements in a timely manner. This continuous self-improvement contributes to individual growth and development. Studies have found that those who are good at using self-talk are more likely to find coping strategies when facing life challenges, thereby maintaining mental health.

4 Types of Negative Self-Talk

Be vigilant

Healthy and positive self-talk is conducive to physical and mental health, but negative self-talk can also have adverse effects on the body and mind. The following four types of negative self-talk should be avoided in particular.

1. Negative self-evaluation

Excessive self-deprecation, such as frequent use of negative labels such as "I'm so stupid" and "I can't do anything right", can lead to damaged self-esteem and affect self-confidence and motivation. This negative self-talk will weaken the individual's ability to withstand stress and make it more likely to get into trouble.

2. Worrying too much about the future

Long periods of excessive worry about the future, such as "What if I fail?" and "Will they laugh at me?", can increase anxiety and interfere with our normal life and work rhythms. This kind of bad self-talk will prevent us from enjoying the present and seizing every beautiful moment.

3. Dwelling on the past

Constantly thinking about past failures and ruminating on the pain can trap people in a quagmire of negative emotions and make it difficult to extricate themselves. Healthy self-talk should encourage us to learn from past experiences rather than dwell on them.

4. Ignoring your own strengths

Focusing on our shortcomings and deficiencies while neglecting our strengths and advantages can lead to an imbalance in our self-perception. This unhealthy self-talk can weaken our sense of happiness and make it difficult for us to feel the beauty of life.

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Pay attention to 4 points

Learn to have healthy self-talk

Positive and healthy self-talk can be achieved through conscious practice. I recommend you try the following 5 suggestions.

1. Maintain a positive attitude

In self-talk, try to use positive language to encourage yourself. For example, change "I can't do it" to "I can try", and change "I always fail" to "I will do better this time". Such changes can stimulate internal motivation and enhance self-confidence.

2. Set clear goals

Setting clear, specific goals and constantly reinforcing them in self-talk helps us stay focused and clear about where we are going. At the same time, the sense of accomplishment after achieving a goal will further reinforce positive self-talk, such as a very achievable "small step."

3. Listen to your inner voice

Give yourself enough space to listen and truly understand your needs and feelings. In our busy lives, we often ignore the voice of our hearts, and healthy self-dialogue requires us to return to our hearts and listen to our true thoughts and emotions.

4. Learn to motivate yourself

When facing challenges, you can use self-motivation to enhance your courage and confidence in dealing with difficulties. You can try to set up a reward mechanism for yourself, giving yourself a certain reward every time you complete a task, so as to stimulate your enthusiasm. For example, a long-cherished "lipstick" or even a cup of milk tea can also be a kind of encouragement to yourself.

In addition to self-practice, you can also seek professional help. If you find that you can't get rid of negative self-talk patterns, you may want to seek professional help from a counselor. Counselors can help us identify and correct unhealthy thinking patterns and establish healthier self-talk habits.

In short, talking to yourself is not a shameful behavior. On the contrary, it is a simple and effective stress relief technique. By deeply understanding the psychological mechanism behind it, we hope that everyone can use this technique more freely to regulate emotions, enhance self-confidence, improve decision-making ability and promote self-growth.

Finally, may we all find inner peace and strength through healthy and positive self-dialogue, and live a more wonderful life!

References

[1] Wang Xiaofei. The role of self-talk in emotion regulation[J]. Advances in Psychological Science, 2018, 26(5): 897-906.

[2] Li Xintian. Medical Psychology[M]. Beijing: People's Medical Publishing House, 1993.

[3] Wang Daojun. Education[M]. Beijing: People's Education Press, 1986.

[4] Winsler, A., Fernyhough, C., & Montero, I. (Eds.). (2006). Private speech, executive functioning, and the development of verbal self-regulation. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.

[5]Morin,A.,&Michaud,J.(2007).Self-awarenessandtheleftinferiorfrontalgyrus:AnfMRIstudy.BrainResearch,1137,147-155.

[6] Salkovskis, PM, & Campbell, P. (1994). Therole of self-talkinanxiety and depression. In R. S. Wyer & T. K. Srull (Eds.), Handbook of social cognition (Vol. 2, pp. 229-257). Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

[7] Lyubomirsky, S., & Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (1995). Effects of self-focused rumination on negative thinking and interpersonal problem solving. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 69 (1), 176-190.

Planning and production

Author: Pang Yang, National Level 2 Psychological Counselor

Reviewer: Fan Chunlei, Associate Researcher, Institute of Psychology, Chinese Academy of Sciences