Children raised by their fathers have higher IQs? If you think that's all, you're underestimating fathers

Author | Tang Yicheng China Science Popularization Mental Health Promotion Center

Editor | Gao Peiwen

Another Father's Day is coming. For many people, expressing feelings to their fathers has always been a difficult thing. After all, the most common phrase fathers say is "Go find your mother!" In fact, psychologists also love to study the mother-child relationship, but rarely mention the father's function.

Is it true that the psychological value of fathers to us is not worth mentioning? In fact, on the contrary, today's article will tell you: the role of fathers in the mental and physical development of children cannot be ignored.

Children are smarter when their father is around

Father's parenting has a positive effect on children's brain development, and scientists have proved this through a study using degus as the subjects.

Degus are very similar to humans. The mother mouse and the father mouse work together to raise the baby mice. The father mouse will take care of the baby mice, and when the baby mice grow up, the father mouse will play with them.

The study found that only when the father stayed in the nest, the baby mice's brains would develop properly. If the father was separated from the baby mice immediately after birth, the number of synaptic connections in the two brain regions responsible for transmitting information would be greatly reduced. Moreover, during the stage of brain synaptic development, if the father was not around, there would be defects in the development of an area of ​​the cerebral cortex, which is responsible for decision-making and is related to higher brain functions such as emotions.

Scientists speculate that many children who lack fatherly love in their childhood will exhibit behavioral abnormalities when they grow up, which may be related to the dysfunction of the synapses in this area.

Coincidentally, a study by Yale University in the United States shows that children raised by their fathers have higher IQs. Why? The reason is very simple.

Because mothers usually teach their children how to use various items in daily life, and fathers often repair vehicles, machinery, electrical appliances, etc. at home, which makes children have a strong interest in hands-on operation. Hands-on operation promotes the development of children's imagination, perception, and creativity, and stimulates their spirit of exploration and desire for knowledge.

Having a dad as a companion can improve language skills and awareness of rules

Many psychological researches also show that children raised by their fathers have better language development. Why?

Scientists speculate that this is because mothers tend to speak to their children in "baby language" that children can understand, such as "After dinner, let's go to bed." Fathers prefer to speak to their children in adult language. In the sentence just now, a father would directly say, "You come to eat, and then go to bed."

This kind of speech is difficult for children to understand at first, but it also forces them to use their brains to analyze and guess, and finally master more complex sentences and more difficult vocabulary. Therefore, children raised by fathers will have stronger language skills. The help of fathers in children's language skills can even continue to affect their future performance in school.

Dads can also help children establish their earliest sense of rules. Studies have found that when dads lower themselves to play with their children, what children learn in games (wrestling, high tossing, horse riding, bullfighting) is meaningful to them. They learn how to have fun, make noise, observe others, and make rules.

Especially in terms of sense of rules, playing rough and tumble games sometimes makes them tired and painful. At this time, fathers can discuss the rules with them, such as not hurting each other and when to end. Such hands-on experience activities obviously help to cultivate boys' self-control.

Dads taking care of children have better social adaptability

In addition, fathers can promote children's social development. Studies have found that if fathers have more fun and emotional interactions with their children, their children will be more popular in school. It is possible that fathers teach their children to recognize people's facial expressions in these interactions, and their children's empathy is also higher.

At the same time, the interaction between fathers and children also helps children expand the scope and content of their social activities. In the traditional social division of "men work outside and women work inside", fathers generally have a wider range of social contacts than mothers; at the same time, because fathers need to bear more social responsibilities, their outlook on life and values ​​will also be more macro and long-term.

Therefore, children's interaction with their fathers can allow them to see more people and things, and learn how their fathers can interact with other people equally and harmoniously. Some fathers will take their children to socialize with strangers, which will further activate children's communication skills and induce their curiosity about the outside world. The experience of successful exploration enables children to acquire new information, thereby showing courage in unfamiliar environments in the future and promoting their extroverted development.

Compared with mothers, fathers’ significance to their children lies more in adventure rather than protection. Many mothers think that this cannot be done or that cannot be done, but fathers may think that just give it a try, it’s no big deal, it doesn’t matter if they fall or bump into something. This allows children to have some space to explore while receiving their mother’s care and love.

On the contrary, in a family without a father, children are particularly afraid to go out of the house and interact with others, thus becoming withdrawn and autistic. Studies have shown that in families without fathers, children will have more antisocial behaviors, such as lying, stealing, fighting, etc. At the same time, their cognitive abilities such as intelligence and memory will develop more slowly, and their academic performance will be poorer.

According to a statistic in Australia, if all fathers in the country play with their babies for five more minutes every day, the government can spend less than 5 billion Australian dollars on dealing with juvenile delinquency, drug abuse, special education and other issues. This shows that the company of fathers is really important to children.

When moms delegate power, dads become more effective

Even so, if we look closely at the current development status of Chinese children, we will find that many fathers are absent during their children's growth. This is called "daddy's regression." Specifically, after the birth of a child, the young father is under tremendous pressure and does not know how to cope with it, so he chooses to escape and becomes an irrational "big kid" who also seems to need care.

In many families, even if the child is crying heartbreakingly, the father can still play games beside him, oblivious to the surroundings. "Dad's regression" will cause the father's function to be lost in the child's growth.

Why does this phenomenon of “daddy regression” exist?

On the one hand, mothers and children have a symbiotic relationship, so mothers' maternal instincts have been cultivated since before their children were born, and they are more likely to take the initiative to take responsibility for raising their children. However, this is not the case with fathers. Many fathers will not realize that they have a child until their children are over one year old.

On the other hand, some mothers always complain that fathers are clumsy in taking care of children and think that it would be less troublesome for them to do it themselves, so they simply don't let fathers touch the children. This phenomenon of fathers being forcibly blocked from the door of parenting is called the "mother gatekeeping effect."

In order to allow dads to better participate in parenting, mothers can give their husbands more opportunities. Adult brains have neuroplasticity, and use it or lose it. The less you let dads take care of the children, the worse they will be. But if you let dads take care of the children, they will get better and better. Every man's brain has the potential to become a super dad.

For fathers, playing some interesting games with children is a good starting point for parenting. When playing with children, some difficult actions can be added, such as: high jump, airplane hold, etc. More importantly, what fathers should give their children is "involved companionship", that is, don't think about other things when accompanying children. Only by focused and attentive companionship can children truly feel loved.

Finally, fathers play an irreplaceable role in their children's growth. Every father in the new era must have the courage to actively participate in parenting. The love from you will be an inexhaustible wealth for your children.

The article was published by the official account of “Science Rumor Refutation Platform” (ID: Science_Facts). Please indicate the source when reprinting.