Getting out of the house and out of the stigma: An elderly man who had a stroke is on the road to recovery

Uncle Zhou is 72 years old and is a retired middle school Chinese teacher. Last year, he suffered a sudden cerebral infarction that led to hemiplegia of his left limbs. Although he was out of danger after rescue, he had to rely on a walker to walk. Uncle Zhou was originally a cheerful and talkative person who liked to play chess and take walks with his neighbors. After the stroke, he became taciturn and even unwilling to go out. Every time his son Xiao Zhou took him to acupuncture or rehabilitation training, he always found various reasons to shirk: "I am like this, and I would be laughed at if I go out. It is better to stay at home." Xiao Zhou was very anxious and took Uncle Zhou to our psychosomatic medicine ward. Through communication with Xiao Zhou, I knew that Uncle Zhou was not unwilling to recover, but because of the shame of the disease, he was afraid of other people's eyes. Uncle Zhou used to be a backbone teacher in the school with a strong self-esteem, but now he even needs someone to help him walk. This gap is difficult for him to accept.

The first step to break out of the cocoon: face your emotions and express your feelings

Uncle Zhou's depression was not just due to physical inconvenience, but more of a psychological burden. I talked to Uncle Zhou and encouraged him to express his inner feelings. At first, Uncle Zhou was reluctant to say more, but with the patient guidance of Xiao Zhou and me, he finally confided his true feelings: "I feel like a useless person. I can't even walk properly. Others will definitely laugh at me when they see me like this."

We did not rush to refute him. Instead, we listened carefully and told Uncle Zhou: "Your feelings are normal, and many people go through this stage. But you have to know that the stroke is not your fault. Recovery is a process, and we are all with you." In this way, Uncle Zhou gradually realized that his emotions were not shameful, but needed to be faced and accepted.

The second step of breaking out of the cocoon: self-acceptance and introspection

In order to help Uncle Zhou accept himself better, I took him to a mutual aid group for stroke survivors. In the group, Uncle Zhou met many elderly people with similar situations as him. Some of them have recovered well, while others are still working hard. One elderly man shared: "I used to feel ashamed, but later I figured it out. It's not my fault that I got sick. What's important is how I face it." The members of the group told their own experiences, and they were sunny and positive.

This deeply touched Uncle Zhou. He no longer viewed stroke as a shame, but as a part of life. He told himself: "I have tried my best, and I don't need to deny myself because of other people's opinions."

The third step of breaking out of the cocoon: self-care and learning to forgive

During the treatment, I encouraged Uncle Zhou to learn self-care. I gave Uncle Zhou a diary and asked him to write down his feelings and progress every day. Uncle Zhou wrote in his diary: "I walked for 10 minutes today. Although I was very tired, I did it." This way of self-affirmation allowed Uncle Zhou to gradually let go of his obsession with the past and learn to forgive himself.

Step 4: Strengthen family and social support

Family support is an important driving force for Uncle Zhou's recovery. Xiao Zhou would walk with his father every day. Even if he just took a few steps outside the house, he would encourage his father: "You walked much more steadily today than yesterday." Xiao Zhou contacted Uncle Zhou's old colleagues and friends and often invited them to visit his home. The company and encouragement of old friends made Uncle Zhou feel warm and strong.

Social support also played an important role during this period. There is an elderly rehabilitation center in Uncle Zhou's community, which regularly holds rehabilitation lectures and activities. After Xiao Zhou took his father to participate several times, Uncle Zhou gradually integrated into the group and even took the initiative to share his rehabilitation experience with other elderly people. After learning about Uncle Zhou's situation, Uncle Zhou's former students spontaneously visited, cared for, and talked with Uncle Zhou.

Gradually, Uncle Zhou's attitude changed. He began to be willing to go out of the house and offered to go for treatment, saying, "I want to try, maybe I can get better." At that moment, I saw the light in his eyes, which was the love for life and acceptance of himself.

During the years I have worked in the hospital, I have witnessed countless patients’ struggles with their diseases, and I have also deeply understood the difficulties faced by patients and their families. Many elderly people are unwilling to leave their homes or even refuse treatment because of the stigma of their illness. This psychological burden not only affects the rehabilitation effect, but may also aggravate the condition. However, the stigma of illness has never been an indestructible fortress, but a mist waiting to be penetrated by the morning light. Eliminating the stigma of illness is a long and difficult battle for patients. But as long as we care, support and encourage them with our heart, we will surely be able to help them get out of the shadows and regain the hope and courage of life.

Lin Xiao, head nurse of the psychosomatic medicine ward of Wenzhou No. 7 People's Hospital