[50 Questions on the Growth and Education of Minors] Question 35: What should I do if my child smokes or drinks?

【Case presentation】

"Hello, Old Wei! I just passed by the ×× night market and saw a group of children eating barbecue at a food stall. They were smoking and drinking, and the noise of guessing numbers was very loud. One of the smoking children looked very much like your Haoran. You should discipline him. It's not good for him to smoke and drink at such a young age."

"That's not right. My Haoran is playing games at home."

"Oh, I misread that. Sorry, I'm sorry!"

"It's okay, thank you!"

After answering the phone, Lao Wei looked at the empty child's room with mixed feelings.

【Cause Analysis】

It is well known that smoking and drinking are bad for health, especially for minors. But why do some children still do these things? The survey found that it is directly related to the following aspects.

One is that they feel empty inside and seek to be different. When asked why some children smoke and drink, they will say that it is cool, handsome and awesome. When asked further, they will pour out a lot of grievances, such as poor grades and poor performance, teachers do not pay attention to them, classmates do not like them, and parents do not care about them when they go home. They can't find a sense of existence at all, and they feel very empty inside. Smoking and drinking can numb themselves for a short time, and sometimes they can attract the attention of some peers and satisfy their vanity. Among these children, there are not only boys, but also some girls. They are using an alternative lifestyle to brush their existence.

Second, the environment is relaxed and the conditions are convenient. In the environment where children grow up, whether near their families or around schools, there are shopping malls, supermarkets, cigarette stalls, bars, night markets, and food stalls everywhere. They can contact and buy cigarettes and alcohol in relatively many places and ways, and the conditions are extremely convenient. Although there are relevant regulations such as "prohibiting the sale of cigarettes and alcohol to minors", most of the above-mentioned businesses either ignore the regulations when implementing this regulation, or are temporarily dominated by interests, or encounter some children who lie and say that they buy it for adults at home, thus making the regulations become a formality and meaningless.

Third, parental indulgence is getting worse. Some parents are not firm in opposing their children's smoking and drinking, so their children are able to try and succeed again and again; some parents are tolerant of their children's smoking and drinking, which makes their children's behavior gradually difficult to control; some parents have no way to deal with their children's smoking and drinking and are even forced to meet their needs; and a very small number of parents appreciate and support their children's smoking and drinking behavior, so that their children go from being "free" at home to being "naughty" at school, and then leading other classmates to be "dissolute" in society, which is out of control.

【Solution suggestions】

When it comes to smoking and drinking behaviors among minors, we need to mobilize the whole society to work together and coordinate governance to achieve good results.

First, we need to increase publicity efforts. Although most people are somewhat aware of the harm of smoking and drinking by minors, many people have a vague idea of ​​what the specific harms are and cannot say for sure. Another question is, "You said there are harms, so why do adults still smoke and drink?" Are these regulations only applicable to minors? For all kinds of practical problems, we need to increase publicity with the help of the media, answer questions and resolve doubts for minors step by step, so that a unified understanding can be formed and then implemented in action.

Second, comprehensive governance is emphasized. "No tobacco, alcohol... sales outlets shall be set up around schools and kindergartens." "No tobacco, alcohol... shall be sold to minors..." "No one shall smoke or drink in schools, kindergartens and other public places where minors gather." The "Minors Protection Law" has very detailed provisions on minimizing the exposure of minors to tobacco and alcohol, and also makes clear requirements on how to punish violations of relevant regulations. However, the implementation of these regulations requires not only the joint compliance of businesses and adults, but also the coordinated implementation of health, education, market supervision and management departments and venue managers.

Third, parents have a firm attitude. As guardians of the growth of minors, parents are the first responsible persons. Parents should immediately express clear opposition to children's smoking and drinking behaviors and stop them in time. Any unclear attitude is tantamount to indulgence, which will only make children worse and eventually become unmanageable. Especially those parents who encourage and support their children to smoke and drink should fully realize the serious harm of tobacco and alcohol to minors and be responsible for their children's physical health and growth.

Fourth, set long-term goals. Management should focus on combining loosening and blocking. Simply prohibiting children from doing this or that without giving them a breakthrough in what they should do is not feasible. The initial reason why many children approach tobacco and alcohol is because of inner emptiness. After parents understand this, they should find ways to fill their emptiness. Help them set a long-term goal so that they have something to do at all times, and from time to time there will be some small achievements or surprises. In this way, they will not use props such as tobacco and alcohol to kill time just to show their existence.

【Experience summary】

Find something for your children to do and don’t let them be too idle, otherwise they will make trouble out of nothing.

Parents should set a good example and not smoke or drink without restraint in front of their children.

If you find that your child has bad tendencies such as smoking and drinking, find out the reasons as soon as possible, provide appropriate guidance, and stop them in time.