International Women's Day: A spiritual care guide for women

Today is International Women's Day, which is also an important opportunity to remind us to pay attention to women's mental health. As a psychotherapist, I have observed that the pressure on contemporary women in their family, workplace, and social roles has become increasingly complicated, while the maintenance of mental health is often neglected. On this occasion, I would like to share some practical suggestions from a professional perspective to help women build a more stable mental state in their daily lives.

1. Establish a sense of ritual for "self-care": Make spiritual breathing a habit

Many female clients have confided in me: "I was so busy taking care of everyone that I forgot that I also need to be taken care of." This kind of "giver burnout" often stems from long-term neglect of one's own needs.

Recommended Practices:

1. Set a daily "mental pause": Even if it's only 5 minutes, you can use it to take a deep breath, look out the window, or simply feel the temperature of a cup of hot tea. This short break can effectively reduce anxiety levels.

2. Create an emotional diary: record your daily emotional peaks and valleys, don’t judge, just observe. A client who has been doing this for three months reported: “When I saw that there were unmet needs behind my anger, I began to learn to negotiate with myself gently.”

3. Create your own healing ritual: It could be an essential oil bath on Friday nights or a monthly art museum walk. The key is to make these activities a “must-do” in your schedule, not an option that can be removed.

2. Cultivate the ability to express emotions in a non-violent way: Let emotions flow more freely

Society's excessive praise for "emotional stability" has led many women to regard anger and sadness as "negative emotions" that need to be eliminated. In fact, emotions themselves are neither right nor wrong, the key lies in how to express them.

Improvement methods:

1. Rename your emotions: Rename “I’m losing my temper again” to “My boundaries are sounding the alarm.” This cognitive restructuring can reduce self-attack.

2. Try the "body first" expression method: When language is difficult to organize, you can release emotions through non-verbal methods such as dancing, free painting or clay modeling. A working mother who uses punching sandbags to release work pressure said: "This is much healthier than holding it in until you lose sleep."

3. Practice "three minutes of mindful breathing": focus on breathing when your emotions are at their peak, and then communicate after your physiological arousal has decreased. Clinical observations show that this delayed response can reduce relationship conflicts by 70%.

3. Build a “supportive interpersonal ecosystem”: Get out of the cocoon of loneliness

Women are more likely to fall into the trap of being overly responsible, believing that asking for help is a sign of weakness. In fact, healthy relationships require a moderate level of interdependence.

Action Guide:

1. Establish a "psychological mutual aid group": 3-5 trusted friends have regular in-depth conversations, focusing on "sharing feelings" rather than problem solving. One group member said: "Knowing that someone understands my struggle is healing in itself."

2. Learn to "seek help in different levels": divide the needs into three levels: "can be handled independently", "need emotional support", and "need professional help". This can maintain autonomy while avoiding isolation.

3. Set the relationship "energy saving mode": For interpersonal relationships that continue to consume energy, try to set contact time or topic boundaries. One visitor significantly reduced the frequency of quarrels by silently reciting "I have the right to remain calm" before a family gathering.

4. Breaking the Shackles of “Should”: Reconstructing the Internal Evaluation System

“I should balance my career and family,” “I must always be decent and calm,” … these internal disciplines are often more destructive than external pressures.

Breakthrough Path:

1. Carry out a general cleaning of your “should list”: Write down all the “shoulds” you require of yourself, and ask yourself one by one: “Whose voice is this? Does it really suit me now?” A mother who deleted the clause “must make breakfast every day” found that her child smiled more.

2. Create a "permission statement": For example, "I allow myself to be imperfect" and "I allow myself to prioritize my own feelings". Set these sentences as your phone screensaver or stick them on the mirror.

3. Conduct "role separation training": Take 20 minutes every day to completely detach from the identities of mother, wife, employee, etc., and simply exist as "yourself". You may feel uneasy at first, but this is an important process to rebuild your self-identity.

5. Maintaining “psychological flexibility” in role changes: embracing the different seasons of life

From youth to middle age, when women experience major changes such as further education, childbirth, and career transition, they are prone to develop a sense of "identity disconnection."

Coping strategies:

1. Make a "life journey map": Use a timeline to mark the core gains rather than shortcomings of each stage. One menopausal woman found through retrospect that she was equally proud of "raising an empathetic child" and "starting a reading club."

2. Develop "transition rituals": Hold symbolic rituals when changing roles, such as writing a thank-you letter to yourself after resigning or rearranging your child's room after boarding at school. These behaviors can help the brain confirm the authenticity of the transition.

3. Cultivate "transferable skills": For example, turn the patience developed in parenting into a team management advantage, and develop the ability to coordinate household chores into a project management specialty, which will enhance the confidence to cope with change.

On this Women's Day, I hope every woman can include herself in the scope of care. True gender equality begins when every "she" can freely focus on her inner needs without feeling guilty. When we take off the mask of "superman" and embrace our complete and true self, the power of calm blooming will surpass any perfect disguise.

Bless every "her"

Happy holidays and happy every day!

Interaction at the end of the article:

What "little thing" are you willing to do for yourself today? Feel free to share your self-care plan in the comments section, and let us build a warm psychological community together.

Author/Zheng Xin, Psychotherapist, Beijing Anding Hospital, Capital Medical University, Wuhu Hospital (Wuhu Fourth People's Hospital)

Review/Jiang Qiao, Director of the Psychotherapy Center of Wuhu Hospital, Beijing Anding Hospital Affiliated to Capital Medical University, registered supervisor, psychotherapist, registered psychologist, and psychological counselor level 2.

The pictures of the characters in the article are all generated by AI