Ideals are full, but reality is skinny! Two tips to help you narrow the gap between ideals and reality

"What kind of person am I?" This is a question that everyone explores and constantly gets different answers to throughout their lives. Children in adolescence show rapid physical and psychological development, which is an important period for the formation of self-awareness. Helping them to "know themselves" and establish correct self-cognition, so that they are no longer confused, anxious, self-denying and self-doubting, can build confidence, play to their strengths and avoid their weaknesses, and tap their potential!

Ideal self: an individual's ideal expectation of himself, that is, what kind of person he thinks he should be or can become.

Real self: one’s current actual level or true ability.

So, how do we understand the gap between our ideal self and our actual self?

Please fill out the evaluation form below.

How to fill it in? For example, if you hope to be able to fully accept criticism from others, your ideal self will score 7 points, but in fact you get upset when you hear criticism from others. The more you cannot accept criticism, the lower your "real self" score will be. If you cannot accept criticism at all, you will score 1 point. In this way, the difference between your "ideal self" and "real self" is 6 points. The same applies to other items.

Kaifu District Center for Disease Control and Prevention reminds: Knowing oneself is a long process. Filling in the above table can initially reveal the gap between one's "ideal self" and "real self". The greater the difference between the two scores, the more psychological troubles one will have. Therefore, we need to adjust the distance between the two as soon as possible to make our study and life more relaxed.

How to narrow the gap between "ideal" and "reality"?

In real life, there are often some gaps between "ideal self" and "real self" that can be crossed or cannot be crossed. "High aspirations but low performance" is a common phenomenon in society. Teenagers generally have high expectations for themselves. If they fail to achieve their ideal goals, they will naturally feel frustrated and lost.

Carlyle said: " The essence of life is to do the things in front of you down to earth, rather than to keep your eyes fixed on vague things in the distance ." Therefore, the possibility of reducing this pain lies in scientifically adjusting the distance between the two.

1. Take positive measures to improve the learning and living ability of the "real self". Improve your ability to solve various problems, work continuously towards the established goals, and strive to maximize your talents!

Second, lower the excessive demands of the "ideal self", formulate goal plans based on facts, and objectively understand oneself. Appropriately lowering the demands on oneself is also an effective way to alleviate psychological pain.

There is a quote from the People's Daily: "Loving yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."

Life is like planting trees, and love is the fertilizer and nutrients.

To love yourself well is to constantly nourish yourself and become a vibrant tree.

I hope every child can learn how to understand themselves and then love themselves!

Hunan Medical Chat Special Author: Song Xiangling from Kaifu District Center for Disease Control and Prevention

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(Edited by ZS)