“The missing child was confirmed to have committed suicide” sounded the alarm. How to discover a child’s suicidal tendencies?

After the truth of Hu Xinyu's incident surfaced, people belatedly discovered the loneliness, helplessness and depression he faced at the time. But in fact, many young people are experiencing this kind of psychological dilemma that is difficult to resolve on their own.

Compiled by New Media Editor Lv Bingxin

After 106 days of searching, it was discovered that Hu Xinyu's young life was frozen at the age of 15, leaving behind a recording pen with a "clear suicidal intention". The official report said that Hu Xinyu "hanged himself to death". In the recording, he said that he had wanted to jump off the building. "But when I really stand here, I feel a little nervous. Not for any reason, I just feel that it is meaningless."

All the details are heartbreaking. Suicide is a signal for help. People who commit suicide do not want to end their lives, but to end their pain.

After the truth of Hu Xinyu's incident surfaced, people belatedly realized how lonely and helpless he was at the time. But in fact, many young people are experiencing this kind of negative emotions that are difficult to dispel by themselves. How serious are adolescent psychological problems? How to detect children's suicidal tendencies in time? Can suicide be prevented? Let's take a look.

Every 11 minutes,

1 in 100 teenagers worldwide dies by suicide

The Hu Xinyu incident has attracted nationwide attention, but what you may not know is that nearly 46,000 teenagers around the world end their lives every year, which means that one teenager dies from suicide every 11 minutes.

Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death among adolescents aged 15-19 (after road injuries, tuberculosis and interpersonal violence). For girls aged 15-19, suicide is the third leading cause of death;

▲UNICEF, The State of the World’s Children, 2021

It is estimated that more than 13% of adolescents aged 10-19 suffer from a mental illness as defined by the World Health Organization:

It is worth noting that the 46,000 include teenagers who "committed suicide". The number of children who have "attempted suicide" may be 20 times higher.

Specifically in China, Cao Qingjiu, director of the Children's Ward and deputy director of the Children's Mental Health Center of Peking University Sixth Hospital, said in an interview with the People's Daily Health Client in 2021 that literature shows that a survey of five provinces and cities in my country (Beijing, Liaoning, Jiangsu, Sichuan, and Hunan) found that the prevalence of depression in children and adolescents aged 6 to 16 was 2.3%, with a higher prevalence in girls than in boys, and a higher prevalence in economically developed areas than in economically developed areas. Depression in children and adolescents is one of the most common psychological disorders.

"Chinese people often say 'young people do not know the taste of sorrow', but in fact, the pressure faced by modern children is no less than that of adults." Professor Cao Qingjiu reminded that the harm of depression in children is more serious than that of adults. In addition to causing pain to the children themselves, it will also have a series of impacts on their school functions, family functions, social interactions, and social psychological development. The most extreme consequence is suicide. "About 100,000 teenagers die from suicide in China every year, and 14% to 20% of teenagers have had suicidal thoughts in the past year. And 60% of teenagers who commit suicide suffer from depression."

Behind these numbers are the real tragedies of countless families.

The main psychological problems of adolescents

Nowadays, people's pace of life is accelerating, and changes in family structure and interpersonal relationships have led to more and more psychological problems. This phenomenon is mainly seen in children and adolescents.

According to the situation report at the press conference, after Hu Xinyu went to Zhiyuan Middle School in September 2022, he suffered a psychological gap due to poor academic performance. Coupled with the pressure brought by interpersonal relationships and adolescent impulses, Hu Xinyu's mental state was unbalanced before his disappearance, and he had clear expressions of world-weariness and suicidal tendencies.

Psychologists have sorted out that most of the psychological problems of adolescents are reflected in the following aspects:

1. Learning

The survey shows that 54.46% of middle school students have symptoms in learning, and 23% have obvious symptoms, which are mainly manifested as aversion to learning, excessive study pressure, lack of concentration, test anxiety and learning difficulties.

2. Interpersonal relationships

(1) Regarding the relationship between teachers and students , the main issues are: some teachers lack a sense of equality and their teaching methods are inappropriate;

(2) Parent-child relationship : some parents have too high expectations for their children, too strict requirements, inappropriate educational methods, and lack of communication between parents and children, which affects the relationship between parents and children;

(3) In terms of friendships, the main problems are: some children are not good at interacting with classmates, their interpersonal relationships are tense, etc.

3. “Self”

(1) Self-evaluation problems: Mentally healthy children can have a correct understanding of themselves and can make relatively objective evaluations. According to the survey, 59.2% of children cannot correctly evaluate themselves, and their evaluation of themselves is too high or too low, and they have problems with self-esteem and self-confidence.

(2) Self-experience issues: Mentally healthy children are always interested in new things and eager to try them, are willing to get in touch with others and new things, have full enthusiasm, and are emotionally stable. Surveys show that many children and adolescents are emotionally unstable, emotionally agitated, and have too many negative experiences.

(3) Self-control issues: Mentally healthy children have strong willpower, strong self-control, and strong tolerance to frustration; surveys show that children and adolescents generally lack self-control and have weak willpower.

How to detect suicidal tendencies in children?

At the press conference, through interviews and analysis by psychological experts, combined with Hu Xinyu's behavior before his disappearance, it was concluded that Hu Xinyu was introverted, gentle, lonely, cared about other people's opinions, rarely had in-depth ideological and emotional communication with others, lacked emotional support, lacked channels for emotional catharsis, often had thoughts of escaping the world, and had the habit of recording his emotions and thoughts in books anytime and anywhere.

"I'm sick. It's really hard to adapt to the new environment. My introverted personality is really annoying. But I can't blame it all on my personality. After all, I am just that kind of person. I can relieve this mood by writing."

"I finally understand the pain of insomniacs. I don't know what I think about at night. It's all kinds of messed up... I think when I should sleep, and my brain is blank when I should use my brain."

"I finally know why my myopia has worsened. I always stare at the books on the table and hardly look at the blackboard because I am afraid. I am afraid that the teacher will see my confused look and then talk impatiently. I hate to see other people's negative expressions the most..."

▲Contents recorded in Hu Xinyu's notebook before his death

According to previous media reports, Hu Xinyu's family cannot fully believe the contents of Hu Xinyu's suspected notebook before his death. But they are not to be blamed. His mother works in Fujian, and his father works as a porter in his hometown. They are all working hard for basic survival. In addition, the mother and son are far apart, and Hu Xinyu lives in the school, which adds many obstacles to the communication between the two sides. But it is worth reflecting on that many parents lack the attention and understanding of their children's mental health.

Although adolescent depression and suicidal tendencies are highly hidden, there are certain signs. In what aspects should parents strengthen their observation and vigilance of their children's psychological conditions?

1. Patients with depression tend to cry bitterly late at night or when they are alone. Parents can observe more during this period, or make a preliminary judgment based on whether there are signs such as tear tissues and pillow tear stains.

Second, depression often causes insomnia, difficulty falling asleep, or waking up easily, and poor sleep quality. This in turn affects their daytime state and mood. Poor state and mood make it easier to have catastrophic thinking, and even more difficult to fall asleep, entering a vicious cycle. Therefore, frequent insomnia in children is an obvious sign of mental and psychological problems.

3. Because of insomnia and high pressure, the child's learning state will decline, and he will be distracted and unable to concentrate in class, very nervous and anxious before the exam, and his grades are likely to decline. These are typical manifestations of learning disabilities. Children who attach great importance to academic performance tend to be very anxious and increase their self-pressure, but it is often difficult to work, and it is a vicious cycle. After repeated attempts to adjust their learning state, the child may be "depressed" in his heart, but he still looks strong.

4. If you feel that your child always tells you good news but not bad news, or is always unwilling to reveal his inner feelings, you should pay more attention to it. Don't think that your child is always sunny, positive, and energetic, which is a sign of mental health. A truly mentally healthy child should have normal joys, sorrows, anger, and happiness, and also have pressures in life and study. But they are willing to talk, and will actively seek help when they encounter problems that they cannot solve themselves.

Therefore, whether children are willing to open their hearts to their parents and reveal their inner thoughts when they have greater emotional fluctuations is an important criterion for judging whether the parent-child relationship is truly close and whether the child is truly mentally healthy.

5. Since children with depression may pretend to be depressed in front of their parents, parents should take the initiative to maintain good relationships with teachers, friends, and classmates that their children recognize. Most people with depression, no matter how strong they are or how good their acting skills are, will often reveal part of their feelings to people they trust when they are in too much pain to bear alone.

6. If you find your child self-harming, you must pay close attention to it. Self-harm is an extremely dangerous signal. Teenagers often self-harm to release stress, which means that their inner stress is close to the critical point of mental breakdown. At this time, parents must empathize with their children, listen to them, actively guide them, and provide more high-quality companionship to relieve their stress.

In addition, some patients with suicidal tendencies will show some signs before this: some people will directly claim that they want to commit suicide, and feeling that life is boring and uninteresting is something that some suicidal people often say.

Many people also saw some signs that Hu Xinyu intended to commit suicide in the notice. For example, he repeatedly told his classmates, "What's the meaning of life?", "It's meaningless for me to exist anymore.", "We are under a lot of pressure. Life is meaningless. Are you planning to jump off the building?"

If you find that people around you have similar behaviors and characteristics, then you need to pay more attention to prevent possible suicidal behavior.

The American Association of Suicidology has developed a mnemonic to help identify key warning signs of suicide:

54. Ideation: Talking or threatening to harm or kill oneself; searching for methods of suicide; talking or writing about death, dying, or suicide; making plans for one's own death; giving away valuable items
55. Substance abuse: Increased use of alcohol, drugs, etc.
56. Purposelessness
57. Anxiety: worry, fear, agitation, or changes in sleep patterns
58. Trapped: Feeling like there is no way out of a difficult situation
59. Hopelessness: Expression becomes indifferent
60. Withdrawal from friends, family, and society: Sudden increase in solitude
61. Anger
62. Recklessness
63. How to intervene in mood changes in a timely and correct manner?

If you notice these signs, here’s what you should do, more than any other advice:

Listen, see the pain, and let him/her express his/her feelings

The survey shows that most people feel that as long as there is someone to share their feelings and support them, they can get through the psychological crisis.

Not denial, not preaching, not accusation, but just a feeling of "I may not understand, but I am with you." Ask directly: Are you considering suicide? WHO research on suicide shows that one of the key reasons for suicide is: stigma about suicide and seeking help (as well as poor mental health, barriers to accessing medical services, easy access to suicide tools, irresponsible media coverage and social communication)

Asking directly is equivalent to telling him/her that suicide is a topic that can be discussed. Only when it can be discussed can intervention be possible.

Seek assistance from professional organizations

People at different stages of crisis should seek different professional institutions: - For those who have suicide plans, please be sure to contact the school, workplace, or family for 24-hour care. Seek professional psychological help, hospitals, or professional psychological counselors;

72. For those who are on the verge of suicide (starting to implement the plan), contact family members (family members are the most likely to know clues), contact the police station or hospital. Ask people who specialize in crisis intervention to intervene, and then refer and provide psychological help in the future;
73. For those who have suicidal thoughts (in fact, many people have had or are having suicidal thoughts), it is recommended that they seek professional psychological help. They can go to the depression clinic of the hospital or seek help from a professional psychological counselor. Establish a crisis intervention system for the whole society

How can we solve the social problem of adolescent depression? In the opinion of Dr. Kevin Xu, a doctor of clinical psychology, attending physician of psychiatry, and associate professor, this requires the whole society to work together to establish a crisis intervention prevention system.

This prevention and intervention system must be very systematic and comprehensive in order to effectively help young people.

Now, whether in colleges or primary and secondary schools, there are the following trends. The first is that the number of one-on-one psychological counseling is growing rapidly. This shows that the acceptance of psychological counseling by teenagers and college students is increasing rapidly. In the past, psychological counseling seemed to be a shameful thing, but now our views have changed. So this is a very good social progress. When we encounter mental health problems, we can seek help from professionals to relieve our troubles. But from another perspective, it also shows that the relevant demand is increasing.

The second is that more and more refractory interventions are needed. On the one hand, there are more and more depressed children nowadays, and on the other hand, there is the problem of "empty heart disease". It seems that everything is good, the family is harmonious, the parents love you, and the life is rich, but you always feel that life has no value and meaning. How can we solve such a problem?

Xu Kaiwen pointed out that first of all, we should not only provide one-on-one psychological counseling, but also popularize mental health education in schools, and convey scientific psychological knowledge to students, teachers, and parents. Second, we need to train healthy thinking. What is mental health? Mental health does not mean that I am not sick or have no negative emotions. Rather, I have some good qualities such as responsibility and altruism, which is called mental health. Third, we need to make breakthroughs in theory. We need to develop localized and Chinese-style psychological theories to conduct more detailed and even school-based research to deeply and continuously understand the psychology of today's teenagers in a way that keeps pace with the times.

From the school's perspective, we need to solve this problem from multiple levels. The first is psychological testing. The second is how to conduct effective management and build a crisis intervention system. The third is how to give full play to the advantages of our culture and system.

We need to provide psychological counseling and crisis intervention services through scientific psychological testing. We can work with departments to help students who are troubled or depressed, and through this method and the Internet, we can promptly identify dangerous cases.

A psychological profile is established for each student to conduct scientific and localized assessments. There are some working characteristics: First, crisis management is proactive. It is not about waiting until the child becomes depressed and then intervening. Instead, scientific psychological assessments can be used from the beginning to discover potential depressive tendencies and make timely adjustments.

We do not require every teacher to pay attention to every student. In fact, only 2%-5% of high-risk cases really need to be focused on. For some key high-risk cases, we may do work in normal times, rather than waiting until a real crisis occurs. High-risk cases require timely communication, and we also need to introduce artificial intelligence technology and other modern methods for consultation and intervention.

Teen depression is the "elephant in the room". If we keep avoiding it, the problems it brings will only become more and more serious. Use scientific assessments to detect problems early and help children get out of trouble.

Xu Kaiwen believes that in order to solve the problem of depression among a large number of teenagers, we need to reshape and develop our culture and values, which will play an increasingly important role in the development of the country and nation. Every education reform is also a call for the entire society to return to the educational and value concepts. Reducing the burden, educating parents, and using professional and systematic psychological interventions based on Chinese cultural wisdom, whether it is mental health education, counseling, parent education, or appropriate drug treatment, are the fundamental ways to solve the current serious psychological problems of teenagers.

TIPS: Each of us may experience depression, loss of control, and despair. If you need mental health support, you can call the following phone numbers:

****● 12355 : A free hotline set up by the Communist Youth League to provide professional mental health support and legal services to young people.

● 12320 : A free hotline providing public health advice, including mental health support.

(The content is compiled from the WeChat public accounts of "Simple Psychology", "One Psychology", "Capital Science Lecture Hall", Peking University Sixth Hospital, Phoenix.com, etc.)