How much influence does the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have on marriage? How to view the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in a healthy way

Research shows that among divorced families, 47% of the couples divorced because of the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law. These couples did not properly handle the conflict between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, which led to marital discord and constant family wars and cold wars, which had a huge impact on both parties and even caused a marriage crisis. The relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law has become a phenomenon-level problem for many families. In fact, each of us should think from each other's perspective and treat the relationship between each other in a healthy and rational way.

Contents of this article

1. How much influence does the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have on marriage?

2. How to view the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in a healthy way

3. How to guide the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

4. How to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

How much influence does the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have on marriage?

1. Conflict of ideas

The age gap between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is at least 20 years. The things summed up by the mother-in-law based on her old experience may not be in line with the ever-changing modern society. The mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law have their own ideas and each has their own reasons. Is apple more nutritious or kiwi more nutritious? In fact, it is difficult to determine right or wrong. The daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law obviously think they are right, so conflicts are inevitable.

2. Jealousy

In the original family, the son lived closely with his parents for decades, and the mother always took care of him, but after marriage, the son took care of another woman. For the mother, deep down, she is actually a little jealous of her daughter-in-law. For the daughter-in-law, her husband and she already have a small family, but she pays more attention to the mother-in-law's opinions than her own opinions on many things. The influence of the mother-in-law on her husband will also make her jealous of her mother-in-law.

3. Resource competition

This resource refers to the son. The mother-in-law hopes that the son is still the same son, while the daughter-in-law hopes that the husband is just her husband. For the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, if the other party has more resources, they can only have less resources. In this confrontational relationship, the son, as a resource being fought over, can "coax" both sides and ease the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law if he has the emotional intelligence to mediate. Otherwise, it will be the worst case, offending both sides.

4. Blurred family boundaries

For the mother-in-law, in the original family, she and her son were in the same family, and she was used to entering her son's territory. After her son got married, if she did not realize that her son was already in a small family, her entry into the child's territory was actually entering the daughter-in-law's territory, and she would easily invade the daughter-in-law's territory without knowing it. For the daughter-in-law, although she and her husband formed a small family, she could not separate a part of her husband's original family. If she wanted to completely control her husband and hoped that he would only focus on the small family and not the original family, it would be easy to arouse the common hostility between the husband and the mother-in-law.

5. Influence of external public opinion

Since ancient times, there has been a saying in my country that "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are born enemies". It is also generally recognized that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most difficult interpersonal relationship to handle. Therefore, everyone has formed a perception that after the son gets married and the family has a new member, when they begin to get in touch with each other, the mother-in-law should be wary of the daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law should be wary of the mother-in-law. In daily life, it is easy for the two parties with grudges to misinterpret each other's behavior, forming a vicious cycle!

How to view the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in a healthy way

The mother-in-law is not your mother, so don't expect her to be better than your mother. We occasionally meet a good mother-in-law, but this is not the case for all mothers-in-law.

Don't challenge the relationship between your mother-in-law and your husband. The relationship between them is definitely closer than that between you and your mother-in-law, or even closer than that between you and your husband. The worst result of the challenge is the failure of both of them, or even your running away from home.

Treat your mother-in-law like a teacher, respect and honor your mother-in-law. At the same time, if you know that people make mistakes, if your mother-in-law makes a mistake, don't blindly say that your mother-in-law made a mistake. The husband should consider how to point out if he made a mistake, and treat the mother-in-law in the same way.

How to guide the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

1. Cater to her preferences. In fact, most of the conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are related to insisting on one's own views. So in this process, it is recommended that you calm down appropriately in the early stage of the conflict with your mother-in-law, and analyze the points of your dispute with your mother-in-law together, find the middle point of view, and then cater to her preferences and handle the relationship in time!

2. Find common ground. In fact, whether it is your mother-in-law or yourself, when your mother-in-law treats her son, or when you treat your husband, when your mother-in-law treats her grandson, or when you treat your son, the starting point is actually the same. In such a process, I suggest that you must find common ground between you and learn to treat it rationally. This is a very critical point for you to deal with conflicts.

3. A bowl of soup distance. First of all, in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you both think you are very great. The mother-in-law thinks she has devoted her whole life to her son, and you think that this psychological state affects your life. In this case, it is recommended that you can not live together under the same roof, and you should keep a bowl of soup distance between you. Even if the soup is hot, it will not be cold when it is served, and you can drink it.

4. Spend more time with your mother-in-law in the kitchen. Your mother-in-law is also a woman. It is easiest for women to enhance their relationship when they do housework together. Besides, you cook for your most important man. Seeing that you care so much about your husband, your mother will feel very gratified and naturally have a better impression of you! So spend more time with your mother-in-law in the kitchen. Not only can you learn cooking skills, but you can also enhance your relationship. Why not do it?

How to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

1. Respect your mother-in-law: Although your mother-in-law did not raise you, she is your husband's mother after all, and of course your mother as well. So you should respect her like your own mother and respect the living habits of the elderly. Elderly people are worthy of our respect, not to mention that they are our own parents, so we must treat our parents well.

2. Communicate more and care less: Emotionally, you should communicate more with your mother-in-law and care about her. It is best to do some housework. You don't have to know everything, but you need to have some basic skills. In this way, when your mother-in-law is busy, you can lend a hand to help, and the old man will naturally be happy. In daily life, trivial matters are inevitable. At this time, you must learn to be generous and not care too much.