What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a second child?

Is it good to have a second child? This problem has always troubled single families. On the one hand, they want to have a second child so that their children have companionship, but on the other hand, having a second child will invisibly add a lot of financial burden to the family, so many families are hesitating. In fact, having a second child has both advantages and disadvantages, and people must fully understand it before having a second child.

1. The benefits of having a second child

1. The second child makes the baby no longer lonely; I am an only child, and there are not many only children among our peers. Many of my friends have brothers and sisters, and my husband also has a younger sister. Since I was a child, I have always envied children who have brothers and sisters. They can play with their older brothers and sisters on weekends, and have playmates at home. When they grow up, if they encounter any problems, they still have brothers and sisters to take care of each other. When I was a child, my parents went to work and I grew up with my grandparents. Most of the time, I play alone. Maybe because of this, I am an introvert and rarely communicate with others and don’t have many friends. I have always felt lonely. The situation did not improve until I met my husband. Therefore, I don’t want my daughter to repeat my mistakes. I hope to have another baby, no matter whether it is a boy or a girl, so that the two babies can have a companion on the journey of life.

2. Share the responsibility of raising the elderly; After having the baby, Zixuan felt that he was facing unprecedented pressure. "My children need to be taken care of. My parents are in their 50s. Their health is still OK, but it has begun to decline. My grandparents are now in their 70s and 80s and they also need our care. My parents-in-law only have my wife and one daughter, so we have to take care of everything. Both financially and physically, it feels like we are clearly not enough. I think that when my children grow up and we get old, they will also face the same problems I am facing now. I don't want them to bear the same pressure. Having two children can help them share the responsibility of raising the elderly when they grow up. So, I decided to work hard to make money and have another child. This way, they can take care of each other in the future."

3. Promote competition between the two children. One baby is the "biggest" one in the family, and no one competes with him. He is often the one who gets what he says and gets what he wants quickly. Even if he does nothing, everyone revolves around him. Such a living environment can easily make babies lack a sense of competition. If there are two babies, after the comparison, they will invisibly form a sense of mutual competition from an early age. For example, the eldest baby is crying and the younger sister is watching and not crying, or the younger sister makes fun of him for being shy, he will soon realize that he is shy and stop crying. This is more effective than you as a parent's coercion or inducement. For example, if two babies both want a toy, you tell them that whoever gets the higher score in the next exam will own the toy. At this time, it is more powerful than directly asking them to get a certain score!

4. Avoid overprotection and spoiling; if you only have one baby, you are afraid of dropping him if you hold him in your hands, and afraid of him melting if you put him in your mouth. Don't let him do anything, just let him behave like a good master/princess. He is reluctant to scold him when he should be scolded, and reluctant to punish him when he does something wrong. Unconsciously, love turns into spoiling. Overprotecting and spoiling children will only harm them in the end. When they enter society, they will not be able to survive in the cruel competition and will not be able to withstand the slightest setback in life. If you have two babies, your subconscious mind will no longer "spoil" the children like that. You will scold them when necessary and punish them when necessary... This will actually be beneficial to the children's growth.

5. Prevent accidents from happening to the only child, which may lead to the extinction of the family line. I believe that no one wants accidents to happen, but there are always many accidents in life (don’t blame the editor for saying unlucky words, the editor of course hopes that everyone can be safe and sound). It’s better to be safe than sorry. Natural disasters and man-made disasters cannot be prevented just by saying so. When they happen, you will find that fortunately you have two babies and you still have the courage to face the rest of your life and you will not feel so desperate!

2. Disadvantages of having a second child

1. Increasing economic pressure. White-collar worker Xiao Lei said, "I didn't think too much when I had children, but now I am the father of two children. My wife and I were both born in the 1980s, and we gave birth to our second child without being mentally prepared. Now we feel a little overwhelmed. We can hardly support ourselves. Although those born in the 1980s are all only children, all the money saved at home has been used to buy a house. Winter is coming, and we have no money for the mortgage, property fees, children's insurance... nothing is settled." Now the second baby is almost one year old. In order to ease the economic pressure, my wife also wants to find a job to increase the income. But now the social competition pressure is so great that my wife has not worked since she gave birth to the first baby. She has been a full-time housewife for 5 years. It is even more difficult for her to find a job now.

2. You don’t have enough energy to take care of two children. When you have one baby, or maybe you are just starting to become a mother, you will seem to be overwhelmed. Soon you will adapt to and like the role of a mother, and you will do it very well and enjoy it, so you will think about having another baby. When you really have your second baby, you will deeply feel that your energy is limited and you are unable to do anything! When you have only one child, the child will always get tired. When the child is tired and takes a rest, you can also take the opportunity to take a rest so that you have the energy to play with the child and do other things. If you have two children, the two children's schedules will definitely not be the same. One child may fall asleep while the other is still energetic and it seems that it will take a long time for the child to fall asleep. After you finally wait for this baby to fall asleep, before you can recover, the other baby has already woken up. Can you cope with such a wheel tactic?

3. Love should be shared between two children. Before the second child is born, the whole family revolves around the eldest child, and she is the treasure in everyone's palm. But after the second baby is born, everyone's attention will shift from the first baby to the second baby, and even the mother is no exception. Children are the most sensitive, and they can feel that your love for them is obviously not as much as before. She will feel disappointed and think you are biased and that you no longer love her after you have the second baby, which will cause irreparable harm to the child's young mind.

4. Couples have less "sweet" time. When there is only one baby, the financial pressure is not that great, and the mother is not that tired. When the baby falls asleep, the couple can still enjoy their sweet time. But if there are two babies, the father's financial pressure will be greater, and he will spend more time on work and thinking about how to make more money. The mother has limited energy because she has to take turns to take care of two children. When the babies fall asleep, the busy parents are too tired to move after a day of work and just want to lie down and have a good sleep. Therefore, there are even fewer sweet and loving times.