What do girls think after a breakup? What are the stages of a breakup?

Sometimes, when you lose someone or are abandoned by someone, you feel so sad that you want to die. It is not because you love him/her so much, but because you hate him/her. You hate that he/she does not regard you as the most important person and no longer loves you. Therefore, every minute and every second is torture. This kind of thinking actually means that you are being led by the nose by the other person. How can your value and weight be determined by him/her alone? He/she gives up on you, mostly because he/she is tired. This is a common thing. In this life, you will also get tired of some people and things. It is not that you are not good, but that you are no longer fresh, so there is no need to hate him/her. So what do girls think after a breakup? What stages will a breakup go through? Let's take a look at the introduction of Encyclopedia Knowledge Network below!

Contents of this article

1. What do girls think after a breakup?

2. What are the stages of a broken heart?

3. Help you get out of the shadow of a broken heart as soon as possible

What do girls think after a breakup?

Girls can be roughly divided into four types after a breakup: those who want to get back together, those who are hesitant about whether to get back together, those who don't want to get back together but can't let go, and those who don't want to get back together at all.

The first type, those who want to get back together, are thinking, why can he treat me like this, what is wrong with me, etc. In general, those who want to get back together will look for reasons in themselves, and of course they will complain about the other person from time to time. However, when looking for reasons in themselves, it is easy to go astray, and the focus is on what I should do to make him like me, and I will lose myself directly.

The second type, those who hesitate whether to redeem the relationship, are thinking whether he loves me, whether he is a scumbag, whether he has fallen in love with someone else, why he is so happy after the breakup, while I am so depressed alone... Oh, yes, they like to say a rhyme "It's good to be single, it's good to be single, you can be with whoever you want when you are single". Most of these people are afraid to face the future life alone, a little self-deceiving, they can't say they like him, but they definitely can't say they don't like him, so they don't dare to replace the habit of having him with new habits, that's all.

The third type is those who can’t let go even though they don’t want to get back together. This type is relatively self-defeating. Because there is nothing more sad than a dead heart. If you can’t let go even when your heart is dead, it is very likely that you will compare yourself with all kinds of people you meet in your future life, or deliberately make your life look comfortable, just to prove it to the other person. Although it is childish, it is really heartbreaking.

The fourth type is completely irreparable. Hope that each other can find their next partner soon.

What are the stages of a breakup?

1. Shock and disbelief

At this time, people's first reaction is to not believe and cannot accept the fact of breaking up. They will look for various evidences to prove that love still exists, but even though they are lying on the ground, what they finally grab are the shed shells of the old love.

Advice for the first stage of psychological treatment of a broken heart: Cutting off the emotional ties with a sword is the best way to deal with the breakup problem. Of course, blood will flow everywhere where the sword strikes, but the faster and more decisive the action, the smaller the wound. You have to believe that time has the power to heal everything.

2. Anger and slander

During this stage, the heartbroken person feels betrayed and is filled with anger. He or she indulges himself or herself in hating that person as much as possible, wishing to tear him or her into pieces to relieve the hatred in his or her heart.

Advice for the second stage of psychotherapy for a broken heart: It is normal to feel angry when you break up. Don't keep this emotion to yourself. You can write a letter, in which you try to criticize all the other person's shortcomings and mistakes. Then tear the letter into pieces and throw it deep into the trash can.

3. Redemption and begging

When the anger is over, all that is left in your heart is sadness. It is not easy to manage love. You may want to give up your self-esteem and everything to save it, but the end result will only make you more depressed and painful.

Advice for the third stage of psychotherapy for a broken heart: His (her) departure has already shown his (her) attitude towards this relationship, and it is not worth your energy to change anything. If you continue to associate, you will only be stuck in the mud and unable to extricate yourself.

4. Game Love

At this stage, you may disdain your belief in past love, and actively look for substitutes, eager to fall in love with a stranger to prove that you have come out of the shadow of the breakup. Then calm down, move on with your life, and fall in love with the next person.

Advice for the fourth stage of psychotherapy for a broken heart: rushing to find a substitute will only make your heart more tired. It is better to change the environment immediately after the breakup, temporarily isolate yourself from the scenes, objects, and people that can trigger painful memories of love, and wait until your mood has calmed down before re-engaging in a new relationship.

Help you get out of the shadow of broken love as soon as possible

1. Let yourself cry

Admitting the fact of heartbreak and facing your own vulnerability is your first step. Think about the reasons for your breakup and tell yourself that he doesn't love you anymore. He lost someone who loved him, and you just dumped someone who doesn't love you. Your destiny hasn't arrived yet. You can go to bachelor parties, drink breakup wine alone, and feel sad without forcing yourself to smile. Believe that scars will become your medal of growth, and you will become more complete in every relationship.

2. Don’t try to retain

Someone said that if you love him, you have to fight for him. However, the situation is different now. You broke up, not that you are in a period of unrequited love. These fantasies will only make it more difficult for you to accept the fact of breaking up, and will only make you feel more uncomfortable. Pursuit and retention are completely different concepts. If the other person loves you, he will come back. If he doesn't love you, you can only humiliate yourself, and begging will only hurt you more.

3. Rationally analyze the reasons for the breakup

Why is it so painful to break up? It's not entirely because you still love the other person deeply. It is most likely caused by unwillingness, especially for boys who are dumped by girls. They will be even more unwilling to accept it and think how could they be dumped when they are so good? Then you have to think calmly about the real reason for your breakup. If the reason is you, then you should correct it and don't make the same mistake in a new relationship. If the mistake is on the other person, then there is no need for you to be sad.

4. Plan a new life

Anyone who has been heartbroken knows that once they calm down, they can't help but think of sad memories, which makes them feel more disappointed and helpless. Therefore, the plot in TV dramas about people who become workaholics after a breakup is not particularly exaggerated. But my advice to you is to plan a new life for yourself, such as going to the gym for a run after get off work, or signing up for a training class, or learning a new skill to enrich your life and give yourself no time to think about that person.

5. Get a pet

Psychological experts unanimously agree that keeping pets can help women heal their spiritual trauma, help women get rid of the loneliness after a breakup, and enhance their confidence in independent living. At the same time, it can also teach women how to love and make them see the meaning of life. When many women are heartbroken, they will feel that they can no longer love and that their efforts are completely unrewarded. At this time, keeping a pet can help you relieve your inner pain, and can also help you heal your spiritual pain, making you feel that your heart is alive again.

6. Change your environment

People's emotions are connected to the environment around them. It is best to clear away or hide away all the items full of memories. If this place has left you with too many sad memories, then go on a trip to another place. Don't stop and let the traces of the other person slowly disappear from your side. Try to expose yourself to new information circles and try to avoid browsing the other person's social network information, because getting some of the other person's recent situation may also cause your mood to continue to be unable to be relieved.

7. Breakups must make us grow

Some people blame themselves for being blind after breaking up, and some people regret letting go of TA so impulsively. There is no need to complain, flowers bloom and fall, flowers never bloom because of someone's appreciation, they only bloom for themselves. There is no need to regret, because those who leave you were not yours in the first place. Life is in a reincarnation called "I", and a grateful heart will make you tolerated by the whole world.