What should I do if I have too many random thoughts before going to bed and the harder I try the more I can’t fall asleep?

We often find ourselves unable to fall asleep before going to bed because of random thoughts and our brains cannot calm down. Moreover, the harder we try to go to sleep, the more we find it harder to fall asleep. What should we do at this time?

First of all, we need to understand why we can’t sleep?

In fact, it is mainly due to the feeling of insecurity. Because there is always anxiety and insecurity in the heart, and this insecure mentality can also easily arouse excitement, panic, anxiety and pessimism, which mainly include the following three forms: contradictory mentality, thinking clearly mentality, and panic pessimistic mentality.

01

Contradictory mentality

It is also called a confrontational mentality. When you are excited, you start to try to control yourself and tell yourself that you shouldn't think this way. It is the same when you are pessimistic. You think that you shouldn't be so pessimistic and self-blaming. Then the inner heart is entangled with each other, and things that conflict with each other continue to arise. At this time, you will think about it and can't sleep. For example, when facing the anxiety when things are not under your control, or even the obsessive thinking of wanting to control.

02

Think clearly

When you are thinking about a problem, you must think it through clearly.

For example, during the epidemic, some people must figure out the daily data, must calculate how many new cases there are today, or worry about other things related to the epidemic. With this "perfectionist" mentality of "must figure things out", the more they think about it, the more excited they will become, and it is easy for them to suffer from insomnia.

03

Panic and pessimism

Because there is always anxiety and insecurity in the heart, and this insecure mentality can also easily stimulate excitement and pessimism.

For example, the anxiety when facing things that are not under your control, or even the compulsive thinking of wanting to control them, the brain will become more and more excited the more you think about it.

Some people see unfortunate things happening around them, and they will have a sense of loss and insecurity. Then they will become more and more pessimistic, and panic and pessimism will occur, which will also cause sleep disorders.

How to deal with this situation?

01

Acceptance

First, accept the current situation and your own contradictory thinking. It is normal to have these thoughts, so don’t blame yourself for it. Then accept your excitement. If you are really too excited, it is okay to not sleep all night. For example, I have been excited about writing articles recently. If I am really excited, I will continue to write. It is okay to do this occasionally. Similarly, we must accept pain, and don’t immerse ourselves in pain. Don’t blame yourself, fight against pain, or feel regret and annoyance because of pain. This is worthless.

02

Exposure

Expose the mentality and thoughts that bother you, and the way to expose is to talk. But it is best to find some professional platforms, because an important point of talking is to have a qualified listener. Otherwise, this kind of exposure may sometimes backfire and even cause harm.

03

Distracting attention

You can divert your attention by reading an English book, or a philosophy book that you feel you cannot finish, or doing something else that you find boring, which can help you sleep.

04

Relaxation training

Doing some relaxation exercises before going to bed, such as abdominal breathing and mindfulness scanning, these imagination and meditation audios can help us enter a relaxed state. If done well, it can even help us fall asleep directly.

05

Sleep restriction

Many people have irregular work and rest schedules, and their biological clocks are reversed and disordered, so they can do some sleep restriction. Set a fixed sleep time, and establish a healthier relationship between bed and sleep. For example, some people play games, watch TV, or even eat in bed. In this case, you can try to sleep only in bed and not do other things.

06

Sleep deprivation

You can also try sleep deprivation to adjust your biological clock. When you can't sleep, don't sleep, do something else, no matter how late it is, wait until you feel sleepy before going to bed, and then you must get up early the next day. Even if you are very sleepy during the day, don't go to bed until night. Do this for a few times and your biological clock will be corrected quickly.

07

Recognize and understand the current environment

For example, during the epidemic period, the entire nation entered a state of tension and anxiety. Although the epidemic has passed, we still need to correctly understand the relevant knowledge about the epidemic. Although the epidemic is terrible, as long as we take good precautions, there will be no problem and there is no need to panic too much.

08

Correct values ​​of life

We must know that all kinds of contradictory thinking mainly come from instinctive sense of security, that is, the desire for life and the fear of death. Therefore, we must establish correct life values, especially the attitude of accepting death. With this concept, contradictory thinking, over-excitement and over-sad thinking will not easily arise.

The above methods can help us adjust our mindset, but if we feel that our living conditions have been significantly affected, it is recommended that we go to the hospital to seek professional help.

Reprinted from "China Sleep Research Society"